Monday, July 25, 2011

Every Time I Look at You I Go Blind

There was WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much boobage in the 'berry today! I still am searching for a way to purge some of the images. *shudder* Since so many do not understand how to manage their girls, here are some basic rules:
1) Bigger than a B cup MUST wear a bra. The only exceptions are not in public. They are at home with yo man! Don't ask me "What about bathing suits?" They build 'em into those now, too.
2) If your halter dress yanks your sagging girls into a shape resembling those obnoxious truck nuts, you have to get rid of it.
3) I should never, ever know that your nipples are pointing straight down at the floor.
4) If you are bigger than a B cup, those tube-top sundresses are not allowed in your closet. We have yet to see you wear it with a strapless bra. Those pasties you stick inside to keep your nips from showing don't hold you up. And, nobody wants to see your bra rising up from it. Ah ah ahh! See rule #1. You do NOT get to go without! (And really now, it is NOT attractive to see your Panera muffies sliding down onto your stomach!)
5) We do not live in the African bush, the Australian outback, or some obscure part of the Amazon rainforest. You are NOT allowed to wear a top that while managing to cover the parts that would get you arrested for indecent exposure, your sagging tatas drag it down to show me your torso a good 4 inches past where a bra should be!

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