Patron #1 My movie is a day late and I'm here to pay my dollar.
Staff Member #1 We have a 2 day grace period. You don't have any fines.
Patron #1 No, it's a dollar. Here!
Staff Member #1 No. ma'am. You. don't. owe. any. money.
Patron #1 Take it! Y'all aren't gonna get me like that!
Staff Member #1 Ma'am, I can't. take. your money. I would get. in. trouble.
Patron #1 Well, y'all better not come back at me for this! I tried to pay it! Don't think you can come back at me later for it! You hear me?!
Patron #2 What do you mean I can't renew it? It didn't have a hold on it the last time I renewed it!
Staff Member #1 Ma'am, someone can place a request on it at any time. They could have done it 5 minutes after you renewed it last time.
Patron #2 But I renewed it last time!
Staff member #1 Yes. And the hold was put on AFTER you renewed it.
Patron #2 Well, I'm not done reading it!
Staff Member #1 Ma'am, you still have 2 weeks left before it's due.
Patron #2 But I want to renew it! I don't understand!
Staff Member #1 Ma'am, let me get a supervisor for you.
Patron #3 Well I turned them in a month ago to the "X" library! (X=next town over that our system is NOT affiliated with)
Staff Member #2 Ma'am, we do have a reciprocal agreement with them, and they do send our materials back to us, but we don't have any control over when they do that.
Patron #3 Well, they should have sent them back to you by now!
Staff Member #2 I know that's frustrating. Maybe if you went over and asked if they still have them, you could just bring them back instead of having to wait?
Patron #3 This is just so not fair! I have a fee on my account now, and I returned them a month ago!
Staff Member #2 Well, the charge will come down signifigantly when the books are checked in.
Patron #3 What?!
Staff Member #2 When the books are checked in, the cost of the books will come off your account and you'll only have to pay overdue fines.
Patron #3 But I turned them in a MONTH AGO!
Staff Member #2 (gently) Ma'am, we can't take them off when they are returned to another library system.
To repeat a phrase seen often on the interwebs, these people breed and they vote!